Dear Friend,
This past week I have realized something, in Indonesia I hear myself think, and I think a lot.
Last Saturday I went to the mall with a friend and her boyfriend and his cousin. We were eating lunch and they started talking in Bahasa Indonesia. It doesn't bother me at all when people talk in a language I don't understand. I actually enjoy it because I find myself zoning and out thinking. Because there isn't anyone having a conversation that my brain needs to concentrate on, my mind is free to think. I really enjoy being able to think.
In this age and time there is so much stimulating us, keeping us away from hearing ourselves think.
In America there is always someone I can be listening to or thinking about. Even when I went walking through my college campus by myself there was always something to listen to. I would hear the person sitting on a rock playing guitar and singing, my mind would think about the tune for the 5 seconds it takes me to walk by, then my ears would tune into the conversation of the two girls laughing on the park bench, next my eyes focus on the group piling into a car and my mind begins to wonder where they are going. Eventually I am sitting in my car, I plug in my i-tunes or turn on the radio. I think about the songs that come on through my shuffle, but I don't ever sit in silence to think.
When it is silent with nothing fighting my brain for my attention, then I can think and hear my thoughts, I can wonder and problem solve. In Indonesia, even if it is not silent, the words are not activating my brain, so it becomes white noise and I am able to think. Really Think. Not day-dream and imagine myself doing crazy fun things with crazy fun people. But actually think.
Anyways,
I must be off.
Your friend,
Rebekah
P.S. So this post didn't have the typically funny Becka~ness in it. So if you want to see me having fun with my sister and being crazy... watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FyphqVcB3Q
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Reality Hits my Childhood Mind
Dear Friend,
Do you remember when you were little and really good at different things? I remember I was an excellent Score Four player and an expert at hiding from people... at least I thought so.
When I was four years old my parents would play Score Four with me. That is the game where you drop the red or black pieces in and you try to make four of your pieces line up in a row. Well, I remember I once beat my dad in 4 moves! We were playing in the front room lying on the floor to see better. I dropped the first piece near the middle, and he dropped his on top of mine. My next piece went in the middle, and he placed his on top of mine again! Then I dropped my third piece in a row. Once you get three in a row with nothing blocking either side, you have won. I victoriously sat up and dropped my fourth piece in the winning spot and gleamed at my brilliance of outwitting my dad from noticing that I was winning. Obviously this meant a lot to me since I can still remember it. About a year ago I realized that, no, I probably was not THAT good at playing Score Four; rather, my parents were probably playing easy on me and letting me win a few times to boost my little four year old ego. Now I cannot confidently nor honestly tell someone that I used to be really good at that game, because I don't know for sure.
When I was five years old I was in America and went to Kindergarten at a Christian school. One day my grandma came to pick me up and being the clown I was, I stood behind her with my finger on my mouth to show everyone else not to tell her I was there. She was holding my jacket and looking around the classroom for me. She asked my teacher, "Do you know where Rebekah is?" I almost gave myself away by laughing, I was so excited that I was tricking her so well! When she turned one way, I moved with her so that she would not see me at all! Finally she realized I was standing behind her, "Oh, there you are!" What fun to trick my grandma like that... or did I? Now I realize that probably she knew I was back there the whole time and was just playing along with me, tricking me. Unlike the child who 'hides' under their covers to momentarily keep away from the tickling parent but knows they are in an obvious enough hiding spot to be found and tickled; I honestly thought I was great at hiding! I thought I was so sneaky, I mean, not everyone can invisibly hide behind someone without that person finding out. Ah the sad realization of reality.
I wonder when I play around with kids, going along with their little tricks, does it make a big enough impression on them to shape who they think they are?
When I started teaching first grade I would talk to them like I would talk to anyone else, then I noticed my partner teacher talking in a more cheerful always happy tone. I wondered, do I need to talk like that too? I have adjusted how I talk to first graders somewhat, but I am not fake with them. Anyways, that almost connects with my stories above... but then... not quite.
Hope your week was well!
Mine was! At the beginning of this week I had been distracted by different things and I noticed that my attitude was different, I felt like I was falsely smiling. I realized that whatever it was that was distracting me and causing me to act slightly fake, needed to stop. I talked with God while walking to school and told him that when I smile I don't want it to be based on silly humanistic things, but I wanted my smile to reflect His love. I had such a good day that day and the days that followed. I knew my smiles, my laughter, my enjoyment of my students was genuine. I am so silly sometimes thinking to hard about things, over analyzing, and worrying when it is all in God's hands and He knows what should and what will happen.
I have to go prepare for this upcoming week!
Do you have any fun things planned this week?
Your friend,
Rebekah E.
P.S. Happy 10/10/10 ... a cool day... but not as cool as 11/11/11 will be... because 11/11/11 is on a Friday so you can totally have an 11/11/11 11:11:11 party!!! Like new years eve, but not!
Do you remember when you were little and really good at different things? I remember I was an excellent Score Four player and an expert at hiding from people... at least I thought so.
When I was four years old my parents would play Score Four with me. That is the game where you drop the red or black pieces in and you try to make four of your pieces line up in a row. Well, I remember I once beat my dad in 4 moves! We were playing in the front room lying on the floor to see better. I dropped the first piece near the middle, and he dropped his on top of mine. My next piece went in the middle, and he placed his on top of mine again! Then I dropped my third piece in a row. Once you get three in a row with nothing blocking either side, you have won. I victoriously sat up and dropped my fourth piece in the winning spot and gleamed at my brilliance of outwitting my dad from noticing that I was winning. Obviously this meant a lot to me since I can still remember it. About a year ago I realized that, no, I probably was not THAT good at playing Score Four; rather, my parents were probably playing easy on me and letting me win a few times to boost my little four year old ego. Now I cannot confidently nor honestly tell someone that I used to be really good at that game, because I don't know for sure.
When I was five years old I was in America and went to Kindergarten at a Christian school. One day my grandma came to pick me up and being the clown I was, I stood behind her with my finger on my mouth to show everyone else not to tell her I was there. She was holding my jacket and looking around the classroom for me. She asked my teacher, "Do you know where Rebekah is?" I almost gave myself away by laughing, I was so excited that I was tricking her so well! When she turned one way, I moved with her so that she would not see me at all! Finally she realized I was standing behind her, "Oh, there you are!" What fun to trick my grandma like that... or did I? Now I realize that probably she knew I was back there the whole time and was just playing along with me, tricking me. Unlike the child who 'hides' under their covers to momentarily keep away from the tickling parent but knows they are in an obvious enough hiding spot to be found and tickled; I honestly thought I was great at hiding! I thought I was so sneaky, I mean, not everyone can invisibly hide behind someone without that person finding out. Ah the sad realization of reality.
I wonder when I play around with kids, going along with their little tricks, does it make a big enough impression on them to shape who they think they are?
When I started teaching first grade I would talk to them like I would talk to anyone else, then I noticed my partner teacher talking in a more cheerful always happy tone. I wondered, do I need to talk like that too? I have adjusted how I talk to first graders somewhat, but I am not fake with them. Anyways, that almost connects with my stories above... but then... not quite.
Hope your week was well!
Mine was! At the beginning of this week I had been distracted by different things and I noticed that my attitude was different, I felt like I was falsely smiling. I realized that whatever it was that was distracting me and causing me to act slightly fake, needed to stop. I talked with God while walking to school and told him that when I smile I don't want it to be based on silly humanistic things, but I wanted my smile to reflect His love. I had such a good day that day and the days that followed. I knew my smiles, my laughter, my enjoyment of my students was genuine. I am so silly sometimes thinking to hard about things, over analyzing, and worrying when it is all in God's hands and He knows what should and what will happen.
I have to go prepare for this upcoming week!
Do you have any fun things planned this week?
Your friend,
Rebekah E.
P.S. Happy 10/10/10 ... a cool day... but not as cool as 11/11/11 will be... because 11/11/11 is on a Friday so you can totally have an 11/11/11 11:11:11 party!!! Like new years eve, but not!
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